If you dream of going travelling, but your friends can't go and your afraid of going it alone, this one is for YOU.

Travel is my big passion in life. Sometimes I go with a friend or relatives, other times alone. I have had some brilliant trips travelling alone and some of my best travel memories are from solo trips. Travelling alone has its frustrations, sure. But so can travelling with friends or tour groups.

This one's for you...

The following scenario is a common one. You want to get away for a while. You have some time off in the future - whether it be a long weekend or time to do a long trip. You’re bored with being at home and want a change of scenery. And of course, you may have been well and truly bitten by the travel bug.

At first, there appears to be a problem - there is no-one to go with you. Your friends have other things going on - exams, work, family committments and money worries. Perhaps anyone who could go with you has very different travel interests. You don’t want to play gooseberry by travelling with your friend and his/her partner, and you know they would rather enjoy that intimate romantic break on their own. So, the situation you are starting with is that there is no-one to go with you to the places you want to go and/or at the times you want to go. Don't despair. All is not lost. I also found myself in this position.

My first solo trip

I had wanted to go to the USA all of my life. Since the age of 11 or so, I had dreamed of going to New York city. My friends pointed out that my eyes would light up as I talked of my dreams of going there. For years, I could not afford to go and I was not brave enough to do a solo trip there anyway. That changed when I spotted an ad for Camp America one summer, for people to work as camp counsellors. I had been a volunteer in a youth club for a year, so I had some experience with groups of children. Accommodation and meals were provided, plus I was not alone - lots of other staff were going from around the world. I applied and was accepted, and in June 1997 I was on a flight to the USA. Summer camp was very hard work, but I had one of the best summers of my life. I am still in contact with a friend I made there and see her sometimes. No-one was able to travel afterwards with me, but I grew in confidence over the summer. Or so I thought. At the end of the summer I was dropped off at the local Greyhound station, and felt gripped by fear. I spent my first day in Atlanta browsing around a shopping mall, but then felt braver after that and explored the city further.

When I arrived in New York City, the fear set in again. At Port Authority bus terminal, I was so terrified that I came close to getting another bus out of the city. Any bus going anywhere, just out of NYC. It took me an hour to pluck up the courage to venture out of Port Authority. When I did venture out, the streets around Port Authority were run down at that time (I believe that they have been regenerated a lot since then). I was choked up and if anyone had spoken to me I would have burst into tears. That is what I spent years dreaming about? I had arrived, but what next? The fact that I was tired after a 24 hour coach journey from Atlanta did not help my mood. I was a nervous wreck taking the subway to my hostel.

I emerged from the Subway at W79th and Broadway, and my fear faded. All I could think was WOW! The thought kept running through my mind 'I'm walking on Broadway'! I am so glad I managed to get there. This was the New York City of my dreams. The hostel was only a short walk from there. Once I arrived at my hostel I was fine. That was when the excitment kicked in. I spent the next five days on a real high. I was staying in a great hostel that did a range of tours, and I did a few walking tours with them. I also spent time exploring on my own. I loved the city. I got free lunch every day in the deli next to the hostel (I was broke at the end of my trip). Navigation was so easy, so much was going on, and I spent hours on foot just soaking it up, lower Manhattan and the Staten Island ferry, Chinatown, Brooklyn Heights, Harlem, Central Park, Upper West Side and Broadway, Times Square and central Manhattan... New York City was like no place on earth. It seemed to have a unique atmposphere not found anywhere else and I floated on it. I still have very happy memories of that summer. I returned home far more confident. For months afterwards, the only place I wanted to be was NYC. I just wanted to get the next flight out all of the time. I had bitten by the travel bug.

Don't let your fears stand in the way of your dreams.

I have spoken to so many people, women especially, who are horrified at the idea of solo travel. In a conversation with one British woman, she admitted she had always dreamed of going to Canada. A golden opportunity was coming up. Recently split up from her partner of many years, for the first time in her life she had no committments, the money for the trip and time off work as she was in between jobs. Her ex partner was not into that kind of holiday, preferring beach resorts. She agreed that it was the perfect time to go, but said she didn't fancy going on holiday without a partner, was too scared to go alone and didn't want the enforced group experience of a tour. She stayed at home. I hope that anyone else in this position can be inspired to go.

Since joining some of the hospitality exchange groups, I have hosted some lovely women who are independent travellers in my home. I try to help single women travellers by providing a safe, comfortable place to stay. I have also met many, many single women travellers in hostels and on short tours. I know from my own experience and those of so many others that it can be done. I want to inspire those women to live their dream. Go, you won't regret it.

The thought may terrify you (and your loved ones). But it is possible, as so many women who have gone before you can testify. As you are reading now, tens of thousands of women are travelling alone in all parts of the world. They are safe and well. They are having a great time, learning lots about life, meeting other people, discovering the world and fulfilling their wishes. The media is not telling you about this of course, because that is not a good story.

A person needs at intervals to separate from family and companions and go to new places. One must go without familiars in order to be open to influences, to change. Katharine Butler Hathaway.

Some good reasons to travel alone.

* Travelling with friends is not all fun. Travelling together can test even the strongest of friendships. Sadly, I know this from first hand experience. Your best friend at home can be your worst enemy away. For one thing, at home you probably don’t spend much time together. Then, in a travelling situation you find yourself together 24 hours a day and you have to make decisions about everything together. Constant compromise and negotiation can be exhausting.

Other travellers can often confirm this. In a youth hostel in Scotland, I met a young Swedish woman who had set off with a friend for a long backpacking trip through Europe. Before she left, she would not even think about doing the trip alone. However, she and her friend did not agree about most things. She was not enjoying the trip at all. After about a month, they had a big fall out and went seperate ways. Since she set off alone, she was loving it.

* Free-eedom. You have full freedom travelling independently. You can get up when you chose. You can eat when you chose. You can decide what to do as and when. You don’t constantly have to work around someone else’s routine, preferences and moods. You are not restricted to the set program of the tour group. If you feel like a lazy day, you can just spend the time at the your hotel, park, or beach without someone grumbling that they have better things to do than lie around all day. If you’re tired you can have an early night in bed without another person grumbling that you are so boring. If you get somewhere and don’t like it much, you can move on. You can stay somewhere you really like a bit longer.

As a single woman in her twenties, I must say that I love travelling solo. I have done this often, but most recently was a tour of Northern England and Scotland. I stayed in hostels, stopped in at pubs, ate alone, hiked out in the foothills . . . basically, I just did what I liked. Of course, you really need to show some good sense. Stay out of 'iffy' areas and be careful where you go at night . . . but for the most part you will be rewarded so fully for travelling alone. There is no one to 'hide' with, and for that reason you will really have the opportunity to meet so many different people and have so many wonderful experiences, whether you want to or not. :-)Don't be afraid! Go boldly into the world!!!! Megan, USA

I remember visiting a place in the Netherlands with an organised tour. We were given two hours at the site. After thirty minutes, most of the group had seen everything there was to see, twice. If I had been on my own, I would have left when I was ready. Instead, I ended up spending an hour and half in cold weather at an outdoor attraction. Another time, in Barcelona, on a day trip, we were given thirty minutes at an art gallery. I had barely been through the first room by then. When I went to Stirling Castle, on my own, I really liked it and ended up staying for four hours. I wouldn’t have had that option with a tour group.

* Meet interesting people. It is possible to meet many more people travelling solo. When I am travelling with others, I rarely meet other people. All of my best travel encounters have been when travelling solo. People travelling as couples and groups tend to keep themselves to themselves and be a self-contained unit. Lone travellers tend to talk to people more. Also, lone travellers are easier for other people to talk to. Many people find it easier to start chatting to one person than to go and strike up a conversation with a group of people. Alone, I chat to people in hostels, on public transport and people I come across generally. Of course there are safety considerations, but this is largely common sense.

* Develop Yourself. Solo travel does wonders for personal confidence. You were possibly terrified before going. Once there, you fulfilled some of your wishes, saw some of the things you wanted to see, managed your budget, met people, dealt with the difficulties and came out of the other side, and then still got back home to tell the tale. Many people return far more confident and self sufficient, believing that they can achieve things.

"Stripped of your ordinary surroundings, your friends, your daily routines, your refrigerator full of food, your closet full of clothes - with all this taken away, you are forced into direct experience. Such direct experience inevitably makes you aware of who it is that is having the experience. That's not always comfortable, but it is always invigorating." Mark Twain.

In a country where you don’t speak the language or understand the culture, simple everyday things like booking a train or bus ticket, getting directions and buying a newspaper can be major tasks. And the challenges can be even greater if you need to put in a police report, make a complaint about your accommodation or deal with an emergency doctor or dentist. I am not going to be pretend it is easy. Being a solo traveller may seem to be a big disadvantage here. Having someone else there to take over - friend, tour leader, partner, relative, anyone - can be helpful. However, I see dealing with the challenges as a positive thing. It is very good for developing your independence and self-reliance. Learning to deal with a situation that can be frustrating, with patience, and a new understanding of the way it is done in that country is great for your personal development. Those who spend a long time travelling often grow much more confident in their communication skills.

I have always found that when two or more people are travelling together, there is a tendency for one person in the group to take on a leadership role (either formally or self-appointed) while the others in the group don’t deal with much. As a solo travel, you deal with it and learn from it.

The flip side?

Understandably, travelling solo presents a set of challenges not faced by those travelling with another person. These are not impossible to overcome however, as the thousands of solo female travellers can testify.

* Risk of boredom. What do I do in the evenings? What do I do for dinner? What happens on those days when almost everything is closed and the weather is terrible? I have been to the art gallery, cathedral and castle. What now? I address these questions and more in far more depth in Meeting people and entertainment. There are many options. With experience, all solo travellers develop strategies to overcome times when they feel bored and lonely.

* Added expense. In most cases, travelling as part of two or more people is cheaper. Single supplements are especially frustrating. Some hotels charge per room for example, so the bill is the same regardless of how many people are staying there. In many places, you get surrounded by the special offers for two – two tickets for the price of one, buy two main courses and get a free bottle of wine etc. Travelling as a large group can be even cheaper because many places offer special group discounts for more than 10 people.

However, to say that travelling solo is always costly is a huge myth. When I travel alone, my trips stay within budget. If I travel solo, I tend to stay in hostels, travel by public transport (it is my only option anyway because I have not passed my driving test yet), and enjoy great fun evenings but often for very little cost. I tend to have one restaurant meal, but for the other it will be picnic lunch, or I will shop at local markets (much more fun) and enjoy local foods. I visit some museums and galleries, but I also enjoy aimless strolling, hanging out in parks and university campuses, browsing at markets and just soaking up the local culture. I will have the odd drink break in a café, but I am also happy with a bottle of water in my bag. I enjoy sending postcards and buying souvenirs and presents for people back home, but I don't go crazy with it. Trips with friends have been a lot more expensive, as they will only stay in higher grade hotels, private car hire, huge bar bills and the like. Of course, the moral of that tale is that if your travelling on a budget, make sure any companions have the same tastes.

With careful planning, it is possible to travel alone on a budget. It doesn't have to mean everything is expensive for one.

* Practically speaking. When a few people travel together, you can make practical arrangements together. One person can watch luggage while someone else goes to the toilet or queues for tickets. Often you can share things that you don't need one each of, like toothpaste and shampoo, so reducing luggage weight. You can keep a change of clothes in someone elses luggage in case yours goes missing in transit and vice versa. If your self catering, you can share shopping and cooking (of course, there is more potential for disagreements about what to eat). However, none of these difficulties are impossible to overcome as a single traveller. It just requires more organisation sometimes.

Reversing the flip side

In the pages that follow, I hope to show that none of the aspects of solo travel that appear to be disadvantages are a barrier to travelling solo. It is possible. Sometimes a little more planning and organisation is required, but with that you can have a great trip, keeping safe and within budget, dealing with any difficulties that come up (and emerging stronger for it) and loving the good times.

The Green Light

So, if your thinking about going, get out there. There are so many reasons why you should travel. It is a beautiful world with so much to see and discover. Go. Explore. Discover. Find out about the world at your own pace. Take it in. Learn from it. Enjoy it.

Guide to solo female travel

Going solo

Travel alone V companions.

I leave the last word with Mark Twain. This is one of the most inspirational quotes I have come across;

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain