Independent travel for single women on a budget

Meeting people and entertainment.

A big fear of people setting out to travel for the first time are fears about lonliness and boredom. How do you meet other people? What if you don't? What will do during the evenings?

This is not something that worries me a lot these days. I have found that I meet people more easily and more often when I am travelling alone. When travelling with others, I find it more difficult. I have rarely felt lonely while travelling solo. I have met some interesting people. I find staying in hostels better for meeting people - there are usually other lone travellers open to meeting people and I sometimes meet people to go out with in the evenings. When travelling you meet a wide range of people. I love meeting locals and people from around the world and I have many happy memories of people I have met.

On the minus side, I once was stuck on a bus on the USA for hours next to a man who wasted no time in telling me about his life story. This was okay for half an hour or so, but believe me, after that it was not fun! Or the guy in Rotterdam that kept reading poetry to me (his own). When you travel and meet lots of different people, you sometimes get stuck with a bore, or worse. That's life. Try to make your excuses and leave.

I recognise though that some people feel uncomfortable on their own and prefer to be with someone else. I also am aware that some people find it much harder than others to strike up a conversion or get to know people. Your options here are group tours or changing your trip plans to fit in with someone who can go. However, it is possible to travel alone and meet people, even if your shy.

What do I do during the evenings?

Through the day, most places are busy. There is much to do - shopping, galleries and museums, historic buildings, parks, beaches and gardens, sightseeing tours, trips out to local interesting areas, and many other things. Whatever your interests really. At night, the single female traveller can find it a challenge. Some places are more relaxed and you will find these either through recommendations or through trial and error. Some women feel okay about going to clubs and bars on their own but others find that intimidating. In some cultures, bars and cafes are male environments. If you don't want to go to bed early every night, but can't hit the bar scene alone, what else can you do? Cinemas, theatres and concerts are less intimidating than bars. You can concentrate on the performance but still be around people, and afterwards or during intervals have something to start conversations with. The same applies to late gallery openings, sports matches, festivals and street parties and the like. Also, there are night walking tours and the like in some places. I find these okay in small doses.

I find music to be my saving grace. If I am somewhere where live music is being played, whether a bar or a concert hall, I feel less intimidated about being on my own as I can lose myself in the music and most other people are concentrating on the performance also. An excellent piece of advice I once read is ask around about where the best music is!

If your staying in a hostel, check out if they offer evening activites. I have stayed in some that offer movie nights, quizzes, pub evenings with staff and other guests. Not all do, but I have had some great evenings when they have been on offer.

Meeting people.

Meeting people is possible, even if you are shy. The advice from all sources is take a smile. If you sit around looking miserable people will not talk to you. A smile attracts people:

Of course the cardinal rule is you must reach out. This can be as simple as smiling, saying "Hello!" and taking an interest. Some people will respond, and some won't, but if they don't you shouldn't take it too personally. from meeting people and diplomacy when travelling

Be prepared to help other travellers. I have found this to be a great opener for me. If you give information asked for, or share tit bits when discussing what you have done and where you have been, you will not look like a know it all.

The same goes for allowing other people to help you. If there is something you want to know, other travellers and locals can both be good sources of knowledge. Ask. Someone will know eventually. Be prepared to learn from other people. They can be a great source of information.

Ask people about where they live - their country or town. Most people will talk for ages about this. TIP Be prepared to talk about where you live also;

Find out the population of your own country, city and any other fascinating facts, preferably before you leave home, or alternatively, while you're travelling. The Internet's filled with information... You don't want to look stupid when a foreigner asks you simple questions about home. And believe me, they will.www.solotravel.org

Leave the beaten track. Advice states that the best places to meet people are away from the main resorts and cities. It may sound suprising, but I have found this to be true most of the time;

Bump into someone from your office in the street outside and at best you might give them a nod. Meet someone from your hometown in Spain and you'll strike up a conversation. Spot another British traveller in the Amazon, and you'll rush up and hug them. The point we're trying to make is that the further flung your destination, the friendlier fellow travellers are likely to be. And ironically, you tend to end up meeting more fellow travellers in dangerous, distant lands - where there's only one decent place to stay in town and all the tourists stick together - than in, say, France. from The Observer

MY TIP One place I find useful when away are university campuses. I usually find them relaxed places to hang out in - after all a lone woman on campus is not unusual, and notice boards and college publications often advertise events open to everyone, not just students. Also, if your a student, take some student ID. Even if your not a student at that university, it may allow you access to student events, dining facilities and give you discounts on shopping on campus.

Learn something new. Finding things of interest are great ways to meet like minded people. Short courses in languages, cookery, wine, art history, writing, photography, dancing, music, local crafts, outdoor activities, watersports and local history are widely available for travellers. Some courses may be just for a half a day or a few days long, ideal for people who don't have long in an area. Some short residential courses are offered. Most short courses are available year round. Many universities offer short summer schools open to anyone with accommodation and plenty of optional social activities thrown in.

In any place where there are lots of tourists, there will be a selection of day and overnight excursions, walkng and cycling tours, special interest tours and other short events. I don't like long group tours but I have done many short day tours, including history walks, ghost walks (okay, very touristy but fun in small doses), day trips to local places of interest and even a pottery demo. I find it easier to get to know people while doing something together through shared common interests than in what is sometimes a forced situation like bars;

Many singles can think of little worse than the dreaded group tour - being shackled to a busload of strangers for your entire trip. And yet that doesn't mean you have to go solo for the whole holiday. Instead, book yourself onto day or longer trips locally, for example a whalewatching tour or guided trek - you can meet a group of travellers, but without the potential disaster of being stuck with them. from The Observer

Meet the locals. Some areas have a scheme where local people volunteer to meet tourists and show them around (e.g. I know of schemes running in Paris and major cities in Japan, and there are others). These are often free or low in cost. You generally have to pay your hosts expenses, example lunch or drinks. Or have a browse on MeetURplanet. This site has people in many areas willing to answer questions and meet travellers in their area. If your worried about safety, keep some basic precautions in mind - meet someone in a public place, don't say where you are staying until you really feel that you can trust him/her and make arrangements to make your own way back to your accommodation.

Even if you don't want to stay at someones home and you can cannot host travellers, you can still join couchsurfing. Many members will meet someone for coffee or a drink. In addition, there are local couchsurfing groups for almost every country, region and city. Members are local people, visitors and anyone who wants to visit or has an interest in the area. Some groups are active socially and arrange regular events. Even if not, you can ask locals any questions about the area. My home city is fairly small but there is a lively and active local group, with events like parties, barbecues and pub evenings arranged.

If you would rather not find a travel companion for the whole trip, you can use sites connecting travellers to see if anyone is in the place you are visiting at that time. On bulletin boards like thorntree there are frequently posts along the lines of 'I'm in Amsterdam at the minute. Does anyone want to meet up for a drink' or 'I will be Chicago next week. Anyone fancy dinner sometime?'. Many travellers don't like a long trip with someone else and so are happy to find a companion for a short time but not the whole trip.

Dining Alone

This is a challenging area. Some women prefer to cook in hostel kitchens or buy takeout food rather than face dining alone. I tend to eat a main meal at lunchtime, then have something light that I can prepare myself or buy takeout easily in the evening. I find that lunchtimes in restaurants tends to be more relaxed and informal and also there tends to be business travellers eating alone (and it is usually cheaper). Also advised is to look for places where other people are dining alone - they do exist but can be hard to find - and to ask if you can join a solo diner.

In Edinburgh, I went to a wonderful restaurant. Other lone diners were there, and the staff were friendly. In Barcelona, I was not treated so well. I went for lunch in a place in the Barri Gotic. There was a table (for two people) by the window, overlooking the pretty square. The waiter would not allow me to sit there and I was given a table for four people at the back of the restaurant. A couple came in and were offered the window table for two. This shows how narrow minded some people can be. However, it has not put me off solo dining as I have had some great times. I suppose the waiter above has obviously got a problem with lone women, or perhaps it is Spanish culture, but I am not allowing his negative outlook to spoil my enjoyment of travelling.

The main advice in all sources I have come across is to take a book, newspaper or journal.. It gives you something else to focus on while waiting for your meal.

The most important thing to bring with you is a smiling face! Don't sit there looking miserable in the corner of the restaurant if you don't want to be alone. Also ensure you are looking outwards and not facing the window or wall! from www.solotravel.org

Look at the place before hand;

Well common sense should tell you to avoid cosy romantic places with dim lighting. You really are not going to fit in here, believe me!. from www.solotravel.org

The last word.

And remember, you'll probably never get a chance like this again…Travelling broadens the mind. Teaches you lessons that remain with you forever. You see things you couldn't have even imagined and meet people that are so extraordinarily fascinating. So talk to everyone you meet, learn as much as you can about what and who surrounds you each day, laugh lots, forget about the financial debt you are incurring and discover who you really are!from